We have two daughters. We never bothered about having a son. Bringing them up was a happy experience for us as parents. It was an inexplicable pleasure when a not yet fully articulate toddler drags us by hand to point at a balloon vendor who had gone well down the road indicating that a balloon be bought. Then again, when a child, who wouldn’t talk for almost two years- giving us the creeps- suddenly bursts forth with a torrent of baby talk on one fine day, it is nothing but pure bliss.
We always had meals together, certainly dinners which were fun and learning experiences for the kids when geography, math’s, civics et al were talked about as games or quizzes. We like to believe that we brought them up identically, meaning, gave similar and near identical opportunities to both.
Bringing up can never be identical since the older child has the advantage or disadvantage of having arrived first whether by an year or several years and circumstances change even within a span of an year or two.
Bringing up can never be identical since the older child has the advantage or disadvantage of having arrived first whether by an year or several years and circumstances change even within a span of an year or two.
We certainly wanted the children to do well and get an education and later a job that will make them economically independent, but never any pressure to top a class or a board exam. Mostly, we let them choose their studies, jobs, careers and spouses, advising only when we thought there was a need. We made it a point to be always present and cheer the kids whether it was KG class concert, sports or their school’s annual day function a thousand kilometers away in Gwalior. Of course, like all children they have their own views on how we brought them up, but that is par for the course.
We are happy that we had not made any conscious blunders in bringing up the children since both are doing well in their own chosen careers and fields of activity; entirely and exclusively with their own efforts. Friezes like the happy face when the first cycle was brought down from the attic for the eighth birthday or the worried tone when eight hundred bucks had to be shelled out for the scooter’s battery from her own earnings remain happily etched in our memory. But then there is no end to what a father could have done for the children. There is always the nagging feeling that something more could have been done for the children and for the wife too.
I like people. I find most of them are very decent human beings even when they differ with me. I can’t be and haven’t been a permanent enemy to anyone. For me this attitude has paid handsome dividends. People who had disliked me had come round to becoming friends again. I like partying and late nights, sometimes stretching into the early mornings. It’s way of connecting with people. Unlike face book friends, real flesh and blood contacts are forever.
The current desired for giving back to the society, in whatever from is another source of satisfaction. I have no great expectations of getting recognition or rewarded. Without sounding too philosophical or religious, my practice of giving without any expectation in return leads to a great amount of peace and ironically recognition and some rewords. Being content with what I have and not aspiring for more can easily be interpreted as laziness or acceptance of having reached the limit of one’s capabilities. So be it , since it makes me happy and contented.
