I see myself in the role of giving back to society after a life time of benefiting from the society, even if it was for work done or services rendered. I believe in a law abiding society and to fight corruption at an individual level by not paying bribes, even if the required service is delayed. I dislike selfishness and lawlessness, which sadly is rampant in our country now. I am satisfied with what I am now and what I have been able to do with the abilities and talent I have. I am content with my lot and am completely at peace with myself.
Some formative Years were spent with mother and aunts, an all women environment, which resulted in developing certain inhibitions and reluctance to face violence and it took some time to get over. Now I detest violence in principle, not in fear of
Possible repercussions. I did get threatened by a builder once while in pursuit of uncovering irregularities, but it doesn’t alter my aims. Of course, it does not serve any purpose getting exposed to avoidable danger.
I was eleven when we got independence. Two year earlier I ran in glee when I heard that we won the war (in Europe). I had no idea of the bombing of Hiroshima. A lot of my family members were active participants in the freedom struggle, so it rubbed off on me. The whole family kept awake till midnight to welcome the dawn of freedom and banged hard on a steel rail. All our neighbors took to making noises in celebration, a nearby temple rang the bell.(waking up a slumbering god!!!) and a train on the bridge blew its whistle for a long , long time.
When I was 8, I walked in a procession shouting "British imperialism" "ddhaam ddhaam" not knowing it is supposed to be “Down Down”. Wonder why the police didn't laathi charge us! That was all my contribution to winning freedom at midnight. The whole family wore khaddar (khadi) but somehow I Was exempted. The sense of serving the country came much, much later. I never looked at being in the army as serving the nation.
We are a close knit family. With no siblings, all my cousins are close to me, even now – perhaps closer still, as we are growing older. I don’t know of any defining moments in my life. Ours is an arranged marriage. I never believed in seeing a lot of girls and rejecting all but one. After one totally misinformed disaster of unfortunately having to say no to a young lady, I was very careful to meet only the young lady to whom I will say yes. The only occasion I experienced ecstasy was after seeing Sesh.
Now I believe I have taken enough from the society and it is time to give back. That’s what I am trying to do and will do as long as I can. Satisfaction comes when government employees Sir me and when people do things for me in appreciation of what I am doing to the society at large, however small it might be. I believe nothing is insignificant. I get a lot of Satisfaction when I put a guilty government employee in his place.